Running Scared
by NIghtowl8123
Summary: This is my first Lost fic. Kate is torn and someone close forces her to make the desicion to stop running. Not to good at summaries, hope you enjoy! Please R


Sawyer stared at her as she approached. Once by his side he turned back to the ocean, "I used to like staring out at the water. You think your problems are big but it's bigger, the ocean I mean. Somehow it makes what you thought was a huge problem feel just a little bit smaller."

"Never took you for the deep type Sawyer."

"Yeah well, I'm full of surprises." Sawyer turned to her, "what are you doing here Freckles?"

Kate shrugged, "just wanted to see if you were alright. You took off after the haircut and…I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"So you said. And as you can see I'm fine."

"It kills you doesn't it? Having there respect…knowing that they're glad your alive."

"You don't know what your talking about."

"Yes I do. You feel like you don't deserve it. Your scum and they should treat you like that. But they don't, not since you risked your life for Walt's. Your scared to death of acceptance."

"What about you, you're the same damn way."

"At least I can admit it." She replied. "Incase I haven't said it, its good to have you back Sawyer."

"Am I interrupting?"

Sawyer turned with his usual scowl, "looks like it don't it?"

Kate shook her head and smiled, "your not interrupting. I was just leaving."

Sawyer watched her as she headed away from him, "Freckles!"

Kate turned, "yeah?"

"I'm not scared. A little uncomfortable but not scared. Can you say the same?"

"Nope. Guess you're the stronger one after all. See you later Sawyer."

"I thought she and the doctor had something going?"

Sawyer turned back to Ana Lucia, "what?"

"That big guy…what's his name, Hurley?"

"Yeah?"

"He sort of mentioned that she and Jack had a thing."

"Please don't tell me your hot for the hero too?" He replied with a groan.

Kate went into the hatch and found Jack coming out of the shower, "finally took my advice?"

Jack jumped, startled a little and then smiled, "I had the time. What are you doing down here? I thought I was partnered with Charlie tonight."

"He wasn't up to it. He and Claire had a fight, he's pretty messed up. I offered to take his shift." She stared at him knowing she should stop. He was in nothing but a towel, "I uh…I'll let you get dressed."

Jack joined her a few minutes later, "so it's you and me huh?"

"How do you know Ana Lucia?"

Jack looked at her with surprise, "how do you know I do?"

"Wild guess."

"We met at the airport. I don't want to talk about Ana Lucia, why'd you run off Kate?"

Kate looked away, "it's what I do remember? Been doing it most my life…can't really stop now."

"Now is the perfect time to stop. It's not like you really have anywhere to run to."

Kate flinched as he took her hand, "Jack…"

"You kissed me. You kissed me and then you ran away. I want to know why."

"I don't want to talk about this." She said and then tried to leave the room. Jack grabbed her again this time by the wrist. "Let me go."

"Is it because of him?"

"What?"

"Since he got back I haven't seen much of you. And this morning when I brought his pills you two seemed…different. Closer I guess. You have a thing for Sawyer Kate?"

"No…yes…no I…" Kate closed her eyes trying hard to fight her instincts, everything inside her was screaming for her to run.

"Then why? Why do you keep running?"

"Because I'm scared!" She said and ripped her arm from his and ran out of the hatch. He was the only one left there, she knew he couldn't follow.

"So you killed Shannon, it sucks but it was a mistake. Stop beating yourself up over it."

"How can you say that. She was one of your own."

"We've lost several and we keep on going, we have too."

"You're a jerk you know that?"

Sawyer grinned, "yes ma'am I do." Sawyer saw something from the corner of his eye. Kate was back and she didn't look good. "Aw hell…" He sighed, he should stay here with Ana Lucia but…it was Kate. She was just like him only felt things more. "I have to go." Kate was in her tent when he went over. She was packing a bag. "Going on a trip?"

"You want to come?" She asked without answering him. "Speak now or forever-"

"Let's go." He replied.

They headed into the jungle, walked until they were by the waterfall where they'd found the briefcase. She dropped her pack and sat down on the rocks, "the ocean wasn't what I needed tonight."

"But this is?" He asked motioning toward the water.

Kate shrugged, "You and Ana seem to be getting along better."

"She's a cop you know, or was…haven't really gotten that straight yet. I think she likes Jack-O."

Kate glared at him and then shook her head and looked away, "you're an ass."

Sawyer laughed, "yes I am sweet cheeks. Just wanted to see if it'd get a rise out of you."

"Why do I like you?"

"We're soul mates sweetheart. We're one with each other. We've both done things…things we know we should want to take back but we don't."

"How do you know I don't want to take back the things I have done?"

"Because you did them. So you had to have a reason for it."

Kate leaned over and kissed him, he kissed her back and she deepened it and then pulled away and got up. She straddled his lap and started kissing him again. "I want you Sawyer."

Sawyer kissed her, one more time…one last time and then pulled away. He lifted her off of him and then stood. "You want to forget Freckles, you don't want me."

"Who are you to tell me what I want?" She yelled.

"I may be a lot of things Kate but I ain't stupid. You don't want me. Maybe you've thought about it, hell I know I have but it's not what you want. You figured a roll with me would get him out of your mind, or maybe just make you feel guilty enough so that it's easy to stay away from him, either way I ain't helping you."

"Your turning me down?"

"That I am. You don't want me, you don't want to be here with me. So why are you? What are you doing here Freckles when the one place you want to be…the only place you want to be is with him?"

"Go to hell Sawyer!"

"Stop running Kate. God look at you, we're stuck on a damn island for know one knows how long. You can't run anymore and that's tearing you up inside. You run and you know your dead. You've been running so long though, I don't think you know how to stop."

"Back there." she said softly. "Off the island…if I stopped I was dead."

"We ain't off the island. I don't want to hate you Kate but you…you come to me like this again…"

Kate nodded. She understood. She was going to use him and that wasn't fair. It was wrong. Sawyer cared about her and she was going to betray that. "I'm sorry."

"So I am. But hey, I don't always get the girl, I'm not a bad loser."

"Jack-"

"Go." He said softly.

Jack looked up from the computer when he heard her come in. "You came back."

Kate nodded biting her lower lip gently. Jack turned away to hit the button on the computer, "for someone who doesn't believe this stuff, you sure are good at pressing that button."

"If I'm wrong and this isn't bull…let's just say I don't want to see what can happen. Why'd you come back Kate?"

Kate wrapped her arms around herself and leaned against the wall, "cause you were right. Now is the perfect time to stop running."

Jack walked over to her, "What are you scared of?"

"This island, never being rescued…being rescued. I'm scared of you Jack…"

"Me?"

"Of the way you make me feel. I never thought I would feel this way again. I'm scared of that, of that feeling. I'm scared I might lose myself in you and then you'll realize who I really am and you'll be the one running."

"I'm not going anywhere." He said softly. "I know the real you. I've seen it, everyday, everyone of the last fifty days. Your…amazing, and beautiful, your smart and giving, your brave and a fighter and you…you make me feel things I have never felt before." Jack put his hands on her shoulders and rubbed her arms lightly. She had goose bumps and he rubbed again trying to warm her up. "Cold?"

"No." she whispered. "Not even a little." Her tongue darted out and she moistened her lips. "Jack…" she said his name softly.

Jack leaned down and kissed her, she wrapped her arms around his neck and he lifted her from her feet. She wrapped her legs around his waist and deepened the kiss. "I want you." She said as his lips trailed a line of kisses from her ear to her neck. "Now, Jack I want you now."

Jack smiled and carried her into the bedroom. He lowered her to the bed and she took off her shirt, he did the same and unbuttoned his jeans. He lowered them and kicked them off and then joined her on the small bed. "Your beautiful." he said as he took her nipple into his mouth. She gasp and he smiled as his hands found there way around her and unclasped her bra.

"So are you." she replied pulling her up to him for another kiss. "I think I love you Jack. I'm not scared anymore. And I'm not running away. Make love to me."

Jack smiled, "I plan on it and once I do…your mine Kate, I'm never letting you go. I love you too, only I don't think…I know."

Kate smiled, a real smile, wide and happy although she had tears in her eyes, "I know too." She replied and they both laughed and then kissed again. 


End file.
